Nicole blogs about how she learnt to embrace her diagnosis of bipolar disorder and build her self-worth.
n 2004, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1. The diagnosis was long overdue. Years of struggling with crippling depression and anxiety had taken their toll. Afterwards, I sought to improve my sense of self-worth by becoming an advocate for others who struggle with a mental health disorder.
Three years after my diagnosis, I attempted to play an active role in breaking the stigma by creating a website, poolsofblessing.com. Where I began to share personal stories about what it was like to live with a mental health disorder. Though my intent was to shine a light on why mental health is health, this mission became a trap in and of itself. It felt that this was my way of apologising to the world at large for my diagnosis. If I made myself useful, it would make up for my shortcomings and failures. What I didn’t realise back then is that I had nothing to apologise or make up for.
I am proud to say that I am no longer ashamed of my diagnosis or the fact that I struggle to find my balance point. I choose to view myself as a warrior rather than a wounded victim. If you have a diagnosis of bipolar or any other mental health problem, it may help to choose to see yourself for the fighter you are.